Wednesday, May 30, 2012

You'll always be my special big girl

Dearest Ava,
Your little brother arrives on Friday. We've been telling you you'll be a Big Sister for a while, and now that day is almost here. Before your brother arrives, though, I wanted to make sure that you always know how special you are to Daddy.

Someday when you're older and can read this blog, you'll see a lot of posts about how Daddy's life changed so much after you were born. You'll read about changing diapers, about all the pink stuff in our house, how Daddy worries about making sure he does his part to make the world a better place for you and Mommy. Maybe you'll laugh, surely you'll cringe, and you'll definitely probably think Daddy's a silly sap.

But I hope you'll read how I think you are the most amazing thing I've been a part of. I can't even explain to you how much you have changed me -- simply by being born.

I remember when we first brought you home from the hospital and how in awe of you I was. Mommy and I couldn't believe that we had made you, borne out of our love for one another. You would lay there in my arms -- sometimes awake, sometimes asleep -- and I would be hypnotized by you. Every yawn, blink of your eyes, wiggle or snuggle was a revelation. You had me instantly, completely, and forever.

As you grew, it seemed like every day was a new discovery. The first time you grabbed my finger. The first time you smiled at me. The first time you rolled over or held a toy or giggled or blew raspberries at Mommy and Daddy... they were revelations, "firsts" that seemed to happen at a breakneck pace. You were the most amazing, wonderful thing I had ever seen.

When you called me "Dada" for the first time, it melted my heart. When you crawled (and "butt-scooted") I cheered. When you stood up, I watched with equal parts joy and sheer terror. When you walked for the first time, I was so proud (and scared). When you learned to climb the stairs and ride your bike, I cheered again.

Now you sing and dance and play the piano and draw and run and laugh and make up stories... and so many other things. You're so smart and beautiful and funny and silly. I can't believe we made you.

It will probably be hard for you sometimes to be a Big Sister, knowing how long you got to be the only one. You'll have to share toys, attention, food, all sorts of things that used to be "just yours." You'll be mad, and maybe sad, and probably wonder if all the things that used to be just for you are now changed or gone.

They're not. You'll always have special Mommy-Daddy Hugs and Mommy-Daddy Kisses. You'll always have dance parties with Daddy. You'll always have bedtime stories and "Somewhere Over the Rainbow."

You'll always be my special big girl. And you'll always hear me say "Daddy loves you."


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